Self-talk, by greatest philosophers, psychologists and successful personalities, is considered as highly impactful practice, backed by science. Unfortunately, there are still a majority of people who consider it as one of the traits of weak and people with disorders.
However, the truth is noone can escape self-talks. All of us talk to ourselves if not most of the time, for a few minutes a week, some talk to themselves everyday. The difference is, some use negative self-talk and some positive self-talk. And that’s where changes truly begin.
“If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one’s feelings by controlling one’s thoughts or by changing the internalized sentences, or self-talk, with which one largely created the feeling in the first place.”
How we talk to ourselves is what we become. Our self-talk directly impacts our thoughts and emotions, which then empower us with positive self-talk and push us into well with negative self-talks.
How does self-talk impact?
There are two kinds of talk we take part in, every day: talking to others and talking to oneself. And science shows that we spend most amount of day talking to ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we are introvert or extrovert, practical or creative.
Neuroscience and psychology adds weight to idea that the kind of talk we engage in has profound impact on quality of our life.
We are impacted by the language we use to describe our circumstances which determines how we see, experience and participate in them and dramatically affect how we deal with our life and face off problems.
We are impacted in two ways through self-talk. One is positive self-talk which we need to practise more often because they promote our growth or say, begins our growth, and other is negative self-talk, we should try not to dive deep with them, because they degrade our values and potential.
[Recommended Reading: Unfu*k Yourself]
Positive self-talk is good things we talk about with ourselves, like planning things, discussing decisions, opposing negative thoughts, encouraging ourselves, etc.
Studies have shown that positive self-talk can dramatically improve mood, boost confidence, increase our productivity, and much more. And with everything it is considered as key component for a happy and joyful life.
Marcus Aurelius said “Here is a rule you must remember in the future, when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not ‘This is misfortune’, but ‘To bear this is worthily is good fortune.’”
Self-talk by default depends on situation. When we are hurt, we use negative self-talk and that makes the situation worse. We must remember to cheer ourselves even in discouraging situations with positive-self talks.
You can get into positive-self talk by;
- Practising Gratitude
- Journaling Wins (Gratitude Journaling)
- With Meditation
- Oracle Cards
- Practice Affirmations
“Positive self-talk is like a painkiller for painful emotions.”
Example of positive self-talk
To stop comparing yourself to anyone else:
- Day by day, I am improving in every aspect of my life.
- I think I can learn a lot from that person (seek knowledge/skill).
- I am content with simply being myself.
Get over self-doubt:
- I’ve done it before, and I’m confident that I can do it again.
- Fear and anxiety have no power over me.
- I’m getting rid of any inner beliefs that are obstructing my progress.
To avoid focusing on the past:
- I accept what I can’t change.
- I am constantly seeking to improve myself.
- I’m letting go of things that no longer benefit me or help me grow.
Negative self-talk reduces our potential, excitement and joy of getting things, which include your tasks, success, etc. You’ll put off tasks if you use discouraging self-talk, you would easily leave you hustle if you are practising negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk puts reasons in front of us for not doing things, feeling guilt, not pushing ourselves, to stay comfortable, to not take risks, to not work on ourselves, to stay fearful, to not learn a new skill, etc. Which is not the right framework for better lifestyle.
Try this technique: Act as best friend for that negative talk. For eg. Your self-talk could be, “I am in stressful situation, I don’t like this job, nothing in my life goes right, sometimes I feel like my life is not worthy!!.” Every best friend in such situations always invokes some positive lines, which encourages other people to think about it, so be that best friend for yourself in such negative downtime.
Example of negative self-talk
- I’ll never be good at that.
- Nothing ever goes right in my life.
- I have no one to talk to, I am alone.
- I am not deserving., etc.
How we treat ourselves has big impact on what we become. Choose to treat yourself with encouraging positive self-talk which will help you to keep growing.
Remember, sometimes we need to face negative self-talks as well to deeply understand ourselves, and it’s always in our control for how long we allow negative self-talks with us. Choose to use them as well for growth.
Are you even aware of it, or still in just default mode? Take your control now and change your life’s gear. All the best