Toxicity is all around us and the good part is we have option to choose & detach ourselves from it. Toxic environment is responsible for negatively impacting our mental state. We start to often feel worried, anxious and insecure.
Such an environment is built with toxic people more specifically, a person. If majority of people around you are enthusiastic and positive, you’ll feel more empowered and self-worth. But if even a single toxic person joins you, your entire environment will be disrupted.
Toxic people are those whose actions induce negative emotions in your life. Resulting in your mental sickness. (if you stay around them for long)
Toxic person does not intend to give you emotional pain. Sometimes, they might be struggling with their own issues and stress and unwantedly they spread same emotions to whoever they meet, by talking a lot about their bad situation, their struggles, their negative stories. (that’s how negativity spreads)
Detaching from toxic people can be hard, but it can also be very beneficial for your mental health and happiness. Detaching from toxic people is important for better mental state and to develop consciousness.
4 Signs of a Toxic Person
You feel bad about yourself in their presence
There exist few people (toxic ones) around whom we doubt our abilities. Such people make us feel low. They highlight our mistakes.
Feeling bad about ourselves is a sign of mental sickness, that’s emergence of overthinking. We know overthinking leads to anxious behavior and then depression.
So keep yourself away from people who make you feel bad about yourself.
People who cross boundaries everytime
We meet people or even sometimes our closed ones cross boundaries of our balanced mental state. When boundaries are crossed it is natural to get frustrated and angry.
Stay aware of letting others know about your boundaries and warn them politely for at least one or two times.
They can use toxic words, act with unwanted behavior with us, etc.
They never apologize for hurting your feelings
Another sign that you are around a toxic person is he will never apologize for crossing boundaries, for hurting you (in any way).
But also it’s not necessary that every time a person fails to apologize is toxic. Sometimes an emotionally weak person fails to be upfront to apologize [Read More about it]. So, you have to observe a person with calm mind and total consciousness.
They will judge you on your mistakes
All of us are judgemental. But when someone often judges the negative side, it becomes poison.
Toxic people have the trait of judging you on your mistakes, and a wise person will give you advice on how to correct it. Difference is, a toxic person will make you feel bad and make you realize that you’ve made a mistake.
7 Ways to Detach Yourself from Toxic People
#1 Set boundaries and call out
First thing (even before you meet a person) to do is to set your boundaries. Setting boundaries means to make a level of tolerance. Above which you’ll not allow someone to take advantage of your patience.
Toxic people often try to take advantage of our calmness or innocent behavior. Setting boundaries will help you stay away from such conditions.
When you have your boundaries try polite ways to explain these boundaries to them. Call out these boundaries if they cross it initially. Let them know how you feel about certain behavior or their actions.
#2 You don’t necessarily need to help them every time
This is where toxic relationships begin to strengthen, we have an idea of basic senses and we can easily feel a toxic person on the first or second meeting.
We must think before saying yes to help them, often toxic people drag us to messy situations. Those situations can take our time and energy. So before saying yes, think about it and respond with understanding. If you are confused and don’t truly trust the person, say no.
It might feel bad because it’s not your normal way, but remember that you’re not dealing with a normal person.
#3 Lessen spending time with them
In order to permanently detach from toxic people, it is needed to not spend time with them. But if they are colleagues, bosses or family members you can’t completely detach. In that case you have to start giving them less time.
When you spend less time with them. Their toxicity will not impact you hard.
#4 Stay incurious of them
One rule to strengthen relationships is to stay curious about other people. And the opposite applies if you want to weaken relationships, that said, stay incurious.
If you want to distance yourself from them, stop asking a lot of questions, stop talking more, just try to answer one word answers.
#5 Surround yourself with positive people
Positive people will help you in detaching from toxic ones. How? When you spend time with those who uplift you, chances are toxicity can never affect you. And if a toxic person joins you chances of him becoming positive as well will increase.
Toxicity will stay away from you when you guard yourself with positivity.
#6 Distance yourself
Finally, if things still don’t go well, warnings don’t work, the person is too shameless to understand your uncomfortable emotional state around him. You have to speak out and bury your relationship.
Distancing yourself from a toxic person has to be done at first place, but spending some time to understand person is necessary.
#7 Don’t try to reconnect
Sometimes we feel like reconnecting with them, maybe we will feel disgusted by acting hard to distance ourselves. Yes there are chances that person might have transformed into better. In that case surely reconnect. But if unsure don’t.
You might feel bad but that’s what you need. You don’t choose to detach from a person, you choose to detach from negative feelings around that person. And more importantly, you choose better mental health.
No matter how long we try to last such relationships but we have to get rid of it at some point. So it’s better to act from now. You will save much more energy.
Keep in mind to not start looking every person toxic. Sometimes, it’s okay, we should manage. Maybe your friend tries to poke you.