Ego is responsible for pausing our growth in almost every area. The area that we will be discussing is personal growth. In order walk on consistent growth path we must get rid of it.
Personal growth and ego are like breakfast in a single plate (life). We can choose one or consume both, but as mentioned if ego has presence, growth will take a looong pause. So better eliminate ego from this plate.
Ego has more than one negative affects on our overall personal growth, being egoistic we don’t allow ourselves to learn effectively i.e. we assume other peoples or anything (a book, video, etc) dumb, having an egoistic personality is responsible for poor relationships and poor friends circle.
It is because sometimes ego joins conversations and ruins it and person remain unaware of it, resulting in raising arguments and makes negative impression around listeners.
Why we need to get rid of ego?
Eliminating ego from our lifestyle and thoughts will surely add one more positive value which will make us more aware about several opportunities like, making better relationships, being conscious, learning from anything, becoming a leader that everyone likes, etc.
We can make ourselves more open to the world with true confidence by becoming a kind person. True leaders and successful peoples listen, think and even adopt ideas from something that most of us would consider senseless. Listen to interviews, podcasts of successful people, most of them are down to earth because they have removed ego from their personality.
If we want to be one of them, we need to eliminate ego from our personality because that is one and simplest way for effective learning and learning is step one for a successful lifestyle.
We get to eliminate ego because we can make a better lifestyle by adding good values, but if we do not eliminate bad ones, they might burst everything some day, like that invisible fault in electrical wire.
They are forever free who renounce all selfish desires and break away from the ego cage of “I,” “me,” and “mine”
What does “ego” mean in personal development?
Personal development is a broad topic and this blog is standing on that topic. Ego is a small but effective part of our growth. It is a negative value that will hold us back and will not let us reach our true potential.
Ego is like a locked door to ladders for growth, this locked door prevents our learning capacity.
All of us have observed ego around us, remember that friend who would do everything to prove his point, that uncle who scolded you because you opposed their generation’s idea and that friend who advises you to never watch or follow XYZ.
It’s not necessary that only our friends or some random people that we observe have egoistic personalities. In fact we might be one of them and in order to improve ourselves we get to find where we stand by accepting our personality, faking or assuming being not egoistic will not work.
Am I egoistic? 4 signs to observe ego?
- “I am right, you are wrong”:
Do you find yourself arguing for the desire of winning conversation or desire to be right, it comes from the ego’s unwillingness to admit our weakness. If you argue, you might be egoistic but if you desire to be right all the time, that’s “ego” my friend. Everyone is right, try to see through their perspective.
- “I can do that better”:
In a conversation with anyone have you said “ohh I could have done that better” without being aware of the other person’s level of skills and experiences. A good observer can clearly see you are filled with ego.
- Response on insult:
An insult never needs a response, situation does. If you observe yourself responding to insults negatively with an argument or fight that reflects you and the insulter has no difference, both of you might be egoistic personalities. Respond to situation never to an insult.
- “I already know that..”
Most of the time it is advised to avoid conversations that you already know about, but if you always avoid them with assumption that you already know about that topic, shows you’re not excited to listen to other people’s point of views (for eg. advice to 20yr old self will be different from different peoples). Which shows you are egoistic. Even if you think you already know a story, try to live it as a new experience every time.
Where does ego inside us come from?
None of us are born with ego, most of the values inside us came from our environment and parenting. When we observe how elders present themselves we do the same to look or sound mature. We were not taught to ask ourselves, is that making sense? Is there anything I can learn from it?
Our environment and “fake it till you make it” attitude strengthens our ego and makes us unaware of ourselves and our behaviour.
How does ego affect us?
- Lower self-esteem
With time we lose trust with ourselves and reduce our excitement to join any conversations or meet peoples.
- Makes us insecure
When we realise our point of view was senseless, it makes us doubt ourselves and it shatters our communication skills. It makes us insecure about joining more conversations.
- Constant comparison
“I can do that better” attitude is responsible for comparison, and comparison is responsible for loss of our remaining good values.
- Reduces learning ability
We do not allow ourselves to listen carefully to other person, rethink some random internet quote or idea and when we do that we shrink the route to learning.
- Shallow relationships
A good observer can observe ego inside us and sometimes anyone can observe it. Which will affect our relationships and shallow them.
Mostly overconfidence is the outcome of ego. And at least we are aware that overconfidence is not good.
- Makes us unaware
When we are unaware we lose our present moments. Being unaware, sometimes we say things we don’t mean and end up creating a negative impression of us.
6 Ways to get rid of ego?
Learn from everything
Every person has something incredible inside them, while in conversation stay aware of how you can get that incredible piece out of that person.
After listening, watching and observing anything, wait for a moment and reflect on “what I can learn from this?”
Knowledge and learning compounds them don’t try to hide or hesitate to share it with people. They would appreciate you and you will build strong trust.
Sometimes not trusting people makes us less compassionate, so we should practice trusting quality people.
Be a Beginner
Adopt a beginner’s mindset and you will learn more than you’ve learned in your lifetime.
Remembering your mistakes and forgetting your achievements restrains the ego and increases gratitude—a simple, effective recipe for humility.
Ego doesn’t allow us to be effective learner which pauses our growing ability. It could impact our personality negatively and cover our good values. Which is why getting rid of it is important.
To get rid of ego we must observe our ego and then adopt beliefs and stay aware of them while presenting ourselves. Our environment is responsible for strengthening ego so we must be aware of whom we are spending our time with.
Big impact ego will have on us is that it doesn’t allow us to learn from peoples and conversations, but we must admit that changing ideas always reside in brains after which they come out through books or videos. So while in conversation keep ego aside, listen and try to learn something from it.
With practice this ego will never interrupt you again.
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